40 Days - Day 7

As I continue to figure out what it means for me to focus on Jesus in a consistent, daily way, I am discovering that so much is attitude; an attitude of worship, an attitude of service in my life.

"so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:10-14

"...bearing fruit in every good work..."

Wow, does that mean even while doing the dishes, the laundry, and housework? Can I really develop an attitude of doing all good work to the glory of God, even the seemingly mundane?

"...you may have great endurance and patience..."

If I work toward bearing fruit in all good works, I'll have more endurance and patience? I sure could use some of that. Attitude!

"For he rescued us from the dominion of darkness..."

I love this!

Today I am going to practice giving thanks in all things and to bear fruit in every good work, to amp up my attitude and view all my work as worthy unto the Lord.

40 Days - Day 6

Thought a lot today about what it means to focus on something. Here is the definition of focus from the dictionary:

As a noun - a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity

As a verb - to bring into focus (okay, so I hate when they use the word to describe the word)

So, if I am working this Lenten season on having Jesus as my focus then he should be the center of all my attraction, attention and activity. And if I am going to focus all my attraction, attention and activity on Jesus, then it needs to be an active thing, not just a passive thinking about him sort of thing.

Today, I am working on cutting out some extraneous stuff. I am not thinking of it as giving up things for Lent, but a refocusing on Jesus, which requires giving up some things that don't necessarily support that goal and will be more long term and not just for Lent.

This will be an ongoing process and as I come across things that seem less good than other things, they will probably go. It is tough to assess all areas of your life and make decisions of what stays and what goes, sort of like sorting my clothes. As I lighten the load, it seems to get easier, but I know in the area of activities, it will be harder than deciding to get rid of that dress you haven't worn in a year. Lots of prayer and discernment will be needed.

40 Days - Day 5

Today was one of those days when several things quietly happen that shake me a bit, make me ponder and leave me with new nuggets to chew on and figure out what it all means.

So many friends seem to be going through very difficult times, finances, marriage, children and I often feel so powerless to help. Saying, "I'll pray.", doesn't seem enough, although I know that is the best thing I can do at times. But it feels like coming upon a starving man and telling him you'll pray for him when what he really needs is something to eat. How can I physically help people meet their immediate needs while also praying fervently for their difficulties. I have no easy answer to that one.

I have been struggling with a couple decisions that would more than likely cause some upheaval in our family. Not necessarily bad, but change and that usually means discomfort. I have been trying very hard to not get ahead of what God wants. I've shared with Brian, he is praying, I am impatient. I would love to have clear cut answers, but I've never been one to see very clearly. I follow God in the dark most of the time and often in the dark on a foggy night.

As I was driving here and there today, two songs back to back struck me right to the heart. The first one was Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day and the second was Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. In the middle of singing my heart out (I was alone in van.) my throat caught and I began to weep and not just gentle tears, but an actually sob coming from somewhere deep down and I found myself asking, do I cry out to Jesus and listen to the voice of truth and the answer is most of the time, no. Most of the time I listen to the whispers of the great deceiver that drag me down and keep me from hearing much of anything except lies.

As I lay in my nice hot bubble bath tonight, reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts this passage struck another chord.

"Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary." pg. 27

Wow, tired, afraid, anxious, has she been living in my head? So many days this is me and my life.

What do all these things mean? I don't even begin to know, but God is speaking and I'm trying to listen. Change is coming one way or another. If I listen well, it will be for the best, but perhaps not the easiest. Is the best ever easy?

40 Days - Day 4

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I've been thinking a lot today about this passage. How important it is to surround myself with fellow believers, to share the journey.

How often have I failed in being there for others when they needed a companion to lift them up after they have failed? Life can get so hectic, so busy, but to what end? What is all the busyness about? Is my life bearing fruit of substance or just busyness for the sack of being busy?

Jesus surrounded himself with a select group of companions. He was teaching, but he could have accomplished this totally alone, he needed no one. I like to think he enjoyed the companionship of others as much as we do and I can think of him eating, laughing, talking and instructing.

We were created to need others, to gain strength and security in companionship with others. The Bible instructs believers to gather together in fellowship.

I am going to strive to be more purposeful in my relationships and more accessible to my fellow travelers, more willing to walk along beside and share the road and any burdens that come along.

40 Days - Day 3

In response to today's tragedy, the earthquake in Japan and subsequent tsunami, I found myself praying and praying some more, for friends in Japan and Hawaii and for strangers whose lives will be forever changed.

The earth seems to be groaning, shifting and moving. So much activity from this world we live on. Many are screaming end times and I suppose we are, but God's timing is not our timing and no one knows the day, but as a woman in travail, these are all symptoms of the inevitable. Jesus will return and there will be great tribulation.

"For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall be famines and troubles: these are the beginnings of sorrows." Mark 13:8

All of this gives me a sense of urgency, to be right and ready, to repent and pray, to seek God's face more diligently and purposefully, to make my actions and decisions count for eternity and not just for this temporal life I'm in right now.

40 Days - Day 2

Deciding to participate in this meme was easy. I liked the idea of taking the days between Ash Wednesday and Easter to direct my thoughts toward the cross and the sacrifice Christ made for me. But what will that look like for the next 40 days. I'd like to think my focus is on Christ most days, so how can I magnify that into a deeper experience?

As I posted yesterday, we started reading Amon's Adventure. This will be a fun way to include the children. They enjoy read alouds and we have found the books by Arnold Ytreeide to be fun and exciting and also offer plenty of opportunities for discussion.

I've also have a Lenten devotional and have ordered Bread and Light: Readings for Lent and Easter. I plan on doing some hands-on activities with the children.

The devotional states that Lent should direct our attention toward human sin and God's gracious solution. Realizing my sinfulness and the need for a Savior.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." Psalm 51:17

So, for today, my focus is on how very much I need a Savior and just how high a price was paid for my sinfulness.

40 Days - Day 1

I'm participating in 40 Days of Seeking Him, hosted at A House Upon the Rock. I am hoping this will help me keep my focus on Christ during the days leading up to Resurrection Day.

I was not raised in a liturgical church and we do not attend one now, but we have enjoyed activities for Advent and I am hoping that we can make Lent equally meaningful. Whereas neither Advent or Lent are Biblical, I feel they are worthwhile traditions if carried out with the purpose of making Christ the focus of the season.

I have no big plans yet, except we will be reading Amon's Adventure by Arnold Ytreeide. He is the same author who wrote Jotham's Journey, Bartholomew's Passage and Tabitha's Travels. We have enjoyed these stories during Advent and look forward to reading this newest book about the days leading up to Christ's crucifixion and resurrection.

I would love to hear about your plans for Lent.